Saturday, February 25, 2012

Just Put on a Nice Shirt


The romantic in me just couldn't let Valentines Day go by without a word or two. Although love is a complex, misunderstood and mysterious phenomenon, sometimes it can be very simple and obvious. After 20 years of figuring it out with my Guy, it comes down to this:

Hot dogs, a nice shirt, candlelight and thoughtfulness.

Hot dogs: it really doesn't matter WHAT you give, it's the spirit in which it is given. Lobster wouldn't have made the dinner any more special.

A nice shirt: women like their men looking nice...AFTER their heart has been won. Don't get all frumpy and stinky just because you are overly comfortable with one another.

candlelight: I really like beautiful surroundings. It makes me a kinder, gentler person...and it's like the man is trying to frame your beauty in that moment.

thoughtfulness: Nothing says "you are special" like an attempt to make my life easier, even for just a couple of hours. It's my love language speaking here. To be served, is to be fabulously loved. My Guy knows this about me and loves me in that way, rather than in a way that's easier for him.

After volunteering at the local school over lunchtime, I came home to this, on Valentines Day. A simple gesture of love that included my kids, watching and chuckling as their Dad wooed me with Ketchup and about 30 minutes. It was a busy day, so time was not in abundance. Later, we did split a Pad Thai at a fancy place, without kids. It really doesn't take much effort or money to express love to that special someone, just some thinking outside the box.

I am always shocked an amazed that love is stronger and better after many years of familiarity. The idea that it is all about newness and excitement is a lie. The more history we have together, the more comfortable we become with one another, the greater the relationship...AND the feelings. It does take effort, but long term, sustaining effort...after that, even hot dogs will do the trick.

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