Ruby Red Baby Steps


This is not an audible conversation with God. This is my imagination in overdrive, to the point of comical, but it is real. It is this morning:
 
Some mornings,
The light of day is seen.
The need to move is felt.
Feet on the floor is unwanted, too far to go.
Impossible.
A smile needs a million muscles.
Spirit living will take a miracle.
Paralized for a few more minutes.
The only action is my prayer.
Conversation with an omnipotent God in my dead state.
Easter is coming. The ressurection.
A little of that could get me out of bed.
Forgive my weakness Lord, be my strength today. Take your mighty right hand and move my feet...one in front of the other.
Your strong arms around me can squeeze a smile out.
Tell me what to do first, then next. I'll ask each step of the way.

Wake the kids. What next?
Eat something helpful. Ok...next?
Smile and speak kindly to the kids. Check. Next?
Shower and wash away yesterday. Yes. Next?
Play worship music. Ahhhh, yes. Next?
Put tea on. Absolutely. Next?
Smile and be kind to our precious offenders. Again? 
Yes again. Recite Galatians 2;20.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Listen to the scripture and song lyrics playing life into your body. 
Thank you for that Jesus.Tears, warm and relieving. 
Even dead artists still minister. I want to be like that.
STOP! Refrain from big, deep, tomorrow thoughts...just cook the oatmeal.
Right. Sorry. Focus on today...the next minute and step.
There goes another precious offender...smile...touch.
How am I doing Lord?
Awesome. Keep it up. I'm still holding you. Forever holding you. Resurrection power. I'll lead you.
I hate being so weak.
Yes, but because your are, I can be strong for you. I love being strong for you. This is kingdom living. This is submission. This is the irony of the cross. Losing your life to find it.Looking and feeling weak only to find yourself strong and victorious just because you let Me lead, hold, direct...without fear. 

Emotions and thoughts will not have me.
 I am being held up, fed and loved today by the Almighty Beautiful.
His perfection, power and sovereignty is the only peace pill that works. I just have to make a conscious effort to take it every moment of the dead days. No fear of overdose and the side effects are helpful. It's a little addictive, but dependance on Him is encouraged. 

I might not trust circumstances, people, even myself some days, but my life, my breath, my everything is given into your hands. Oh my God, I need you, I love you. Stay close today. Keep moving my feet and whispering truth in my ear. No Amen to this prayer because it continues...
Taking the next step. Waiting for God to tell me what to make for supper ;)

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